Carers Rights Day

What is Carers Rights Day?

According to Age UK, if you look after a partner, relative, or friend who is disabled or ill due to physical or mental health, you are a carer, even if you don’t think of yourself as one. With the covid pandemic still very raw for many, being a carer was a role that many found themselves doing overnight in order to protect loved ones and stay with them. The importance of carers in care homes was demonstrated more than ever before, with sacrifices made to keep our family members safe. What is very clear to see is that without individuals making sacrifices, sometimes detrimental to their own lives, many would go uncared for and have an extremely poor quality of life as a result. This often comes with agonising decisions to make, knowing when the right time is to find residential care for someone and to start the process of research and planning to ensure they have the best care. I found myself in a carer’s position when I had my son, as overnight I stopped my teaching career to take on the role of giving medical intervention full time until I won a fight with my local council to get an assessment awarding him full time support in school. As a first time Mum I was fully wanting the role of his carer, however the implications of having a baby with a chronic bowel disease meant lots of medical interventions and surgeries, which created barriers in everyday life. Not being able to return to work due to this meant I qualified as a carer that could receive payments to supplement loss of earnings, and have access to therapies and leisure facilities to support his development.

How can it affect the Carer’s life?

Being a carer is very rewarding and honourable, but equally comes with great sacrifice and compromise as your life changes dramatically overnight. This of course depends on the level of care required. Children can find themselves being carers for their disabled parents, adults caring for their elderly parents, and parents becoming carers for their children where medical interventions are needed on such a scale that they are unable to work. Caring can take many forms, and caring for yourself when you are in this position is just as important as the care you are providing. If you find yourself in this position unexpectedly, it will be quite the shock with little to no time to make adaptations to your own life to help you fulfil this new position.

Finances and employment

You may have to give up your job or reduce your hours depending on how much care is needed. This will inevitably affect your income, and if you do get financial help in the form of support from a charity or benefits, it won’t happen overnight. There may be a period of difficulty as you get your affairs in order. You may find yourself in charge of sorting the person’s finances yourself. If you are not well versed in such affairs seek advice and don’t struggle through.

Relationships 

If the person needing care has to live with you when they did not before, this could change the dynamics of the household, which in the short term may have a negative impact. It will take time to find your new routine and others in the household getting used to this person in their personal space. Give everyone plenty of time to get used to the idea and set some boundaries that everyone feels comfortable with. Ensure all are onboard and in a good place mentally to have such a change in the family home. You may find your relationships strained as your new role is taxing on time and your mental health. Keep in contact with friends and loved ones best you can, and lean on them when you need to. It can be very very isolating if you don’t see others in your life in a similar position. Their struggles may seem trivial to you. You may find yourself resentful of others as their problems seem nothing compared to yours. Remember that it’s all relative and everyone has something in their life that is difficult in some shape of form. Be kind.

Personal physical and mental health 

I know if my parents needed to live with me and have care I would stop at nothing to give them everything I had. It is important however to ensure it is not to the detriment to your own health which in turn may make you poorly. This may surface through exhaustion, sleep deprivation, stress and worry. Inevitably some of these will happen to start off with, and it is how you manage them and what you put in place to deal with them. If you are feeling down and struggling mentally, talk to someone and let them know how you feel. If this is too difficult, see your GP and see what therapies or medication are appropriate for you. Do not feel like this is a weakness or failure. What you’re doing is one of the most selfless acts you can do in this life, and if you need support to carry out this role accept it and make the best of it.

Carers Allowance 

You may be eligible to Carers Allowance which has a strict criteria for it to be awarded. When I was unable to work with my little one, unfortunately I was not made aware of such a benefit and as a result I missed out on thousands of pounds over the years that would have helped ease the financial strain of not being able to return to work, as planned after maternity leave. The assessment is available on the government website and can vary according to where you live. If you need support in its completion, Citizens Advice and staff at your healthcare provider should be able to support you. It can take several months to be processed and awarded so be patient and don’t hesitate to ring and ask for an update. The assessment can not only award you with a monthly payment, but also assess if you qualify for support for equipment to aid in the care needed. Make sure to put as much detail and information as possible in your forms and photocopy them. This will help when it needs reapplying for a few years after being rewarded.

Links of support include:

Carers UK 

Mind 

Government Guidance for those who provide unpaid care to friends or family 

Citizens advice 

Carers Trust 

Rachel @gutsy.mum