My mental health and my stoma

Can I be real with you for a second? Living with a stoma isn’t easy. It’s a journey I never thought I’d be on, and to be honest, I really struggled at first. For a long time, I felt scared, anxious, and frustrated. I’d look in the mirror and barely recognise myself, and the idea of just going out and living my life felt impossible.

One day, it just hit me… I didn’t want to live my life scared and anxious anymore. I was tired of holding back, tired of feeling like a shell of who I once was. I knew I couldn’t change the fact that I had a stoma, but I could change the way I lived with it. That mindset shift wasn’t instant, but it was powerful.

At first, I tried to bottle it all up and push through, but that only made things worse. Once I started to allow myself to feel sad, angry, or scared, I realised those feelings didn’t make me weak – they made me human.

I used to overthink everything, especially when it came to leaving the house. “What if someone notices?” “What if I have an accident?” But honestly, the more I pushed myself to take those small steps, like going for a walk or meeting a friend, the less I worried. Confidence doesn’t come all at once, but it does come with practice.

Stress used to completely knock me off my feet. I’d obsess over every “what if” and spiral into panic. What worked for me was focusing on the present. I started being kinder to myself—if I was tired or needed a break, I took it without guilt.

There was a point when I avoided looking in the mirror because I hated what I saw. But slowly, I started finding clothes that made me feel good, things that were comfortable but still felt me. That small shift in how I dressed made a big difference in how I saw myself.

I’m not saying everything is perfect now. I still have moments where I feel overwhelmed or uncertain, but they’re just moments, they don’t take over anymore.

If you’re struggling, just know this: it’s okay to feel how you feel, and it’s okay to ask for help. You’re not alone in this. Take it one step at a time, and be gentle with yourself, you deserve it. You’ve got this!

Thanks for reading,

Ange (@thebaglife_) x