Post-stoma surgery milestones

Post-stoma surgery milestones

There are lots of milestones to hit post stoma surgery, when you get to a place where you feel in control and happy, it’s the best feeling in the world.

Work

Returning to work (depending on the type of job you have) is a major milestone post surgery. Each new experience comes with its own anxieties and worries. What might happen if the worst case scenario of a leak happens or you become poorly? Your employer should not discriminate against you for having a stoma. Whether you are recognised as disabled or not, it is your employers responsibility to make reasonable adjustments when you return post surgery. This may take the form of a phased return for example. I would like to think every place of work has accessible toilets open to use, but I know from experience that is not always the case. If you need a key to access such facilities, request it. Listen to your body, and if you feel like you have returned to work too soon, or the facilities are not suitable, talk to your line manager. Even better, if you are a member of a union give them a call. You do not have to tell your employer that you have a stoma, or your colleagues. Do what makes you feel most comfortable. You may find telling at least someone when you establish new friendships may help on days you aren’t feeling 100%. Know that when you reach the milestone of returning to work, you are doing incredibly well, and should be so proud of yourself!

Your wardrobe 

Choosing what to wear and feeling confident in your clothes with your bag may seem trivial, but can set the tone for the day you are going to have. When you switch to the mindset of not worrying about what to choose because of your bag, it’s one of the best feelings! Having a bag stuck to your skin where for most of us our jeans/underwear sit, is more than inconvenient. It isn’t something that is pleasurable, and it does take a while to get used to. There are lots of ways to alleviate this in order to not feel the need to go out and buy oversized clothes, and giant pants to allow for it. Post surgery, there is most certainly a place for these garments, and if they are what feels most comfortable for you then stick with it. But if this was not the norm before surgery, it doesn’t have to be your new normal. Options include waistbands that you can get on prescription in the UK (6 garments per year), from a variety of companies. Ask your delivery company to share what options are available to you, and do your research. Included in this are high waisted underwear with varying degrees of elasticity, to make you feel secure with your bag tucked into your underwear (if that’s how you like to wear it). For me, I tuck my stoma bag in half using the velcro tab on the Pelican ModaVi range, which means I don’t have as much material in my underwear. Emptying my bag every time I use the bathroom means it never really gets too full to make my clothing feel uncomfortable. If seeing the outline of your bag bothers you, accessories such as scarfs can act as a distraction, as well as a good pattern or print to your outfit. High street stores are getting on board with including ostomates in their products, with Marks and Spencers being the latest to release underwear specifically designed for females with a stoma. The reviews have been fantastic and they are available to buy online now!

Intimacy

Being physically active is something that can take a lot of time to feel comfortable with after stoma surgery. We read a lot about how it can take time, and be difficult to get back to in a relationship. A stoma can knock your self esteem, as your body has changed so much and how you see yourself changes overnight both physically and mentally. When I met my partner I already had my stoma, and what I can say is that if you meet the right person, they shouldn’t make you feel any different for having one. Have an open conversation with your partner of exactly how you feel, and how you want to approach it. Ensure you are honest with what makes you feel comfortable and ask them if there is anything they are worried about. They may be worried about hurting you, knocking your stoma or being near your bag. Open communication and being vulnerable is difficult, but creates a solid foundation and a strong connection allowing you to have all the fun and less of the worries!  

Until next time,
Rach x