Time to Talk Day | Mental Health With A Stoma

Time to Talk Day | Mental Health With A Stoma

“Time to Talk Day is the nation’s biggest mental health conversation. Happening every year, it’s a day for friends, families, communities, and workplaces to come together to talk, listen and change lives.”

Talking about our mental health is still considered taboo. It is another invisible illness that can’t be physically seen. However the impact that unseen mental health has on us can be devastating. 

I have been living with my own mental health since the age of 23; one was a manifestation of not being able to control my chronic illness, and the second was after spending some considerable time in hospital and on life support. 

It has taken me a long time to get my anxiety under control; the PTSD is somewhat controlled but when stressed, ill or requiring a hospital admission it rears it’s head and it is not something I overly like talking about. 

Anxiety

I have lived with anxiety attacks for years. It can be crippling at times. My anxiety is weird – I have always been seen as a slightly chatty extrovert (for those of you who have got that side of me, I apologise) but once I am settled and feel safe, I quieten down, and become relatively chilled and relaxed. 

The other part of my anxiety are the sweating, racing heart and chronic dry mouth. When my anxiety is really on one, I jiggle my legs, can’t sit still and suffer with insomnia as my brain likes to say “Nope, no sleep for you Louise”. 

I have had several CBT courses, when my anxiety gets bad and out of control I take Cognitive Behavioural therapy. It helps to re-instill my coping mechanisms and get me settled again. 

I have tried several different medications over the years, However, a long lasting after affect of sepsis means my blood pressure is really low and the medication pushes it down even lower and is not a safe recourse for me, so I have found my own coping mechanisms. 

PTSD

I developed PTSD after a long stint in hospital. This one isn’t as easy to get under control as the anxiety. My poor husband has found ways to help me but the night terrors are the worst part. As mentioned above, my night terrors are scary and not nice for my husband. When asleep I can’t control things and I think that’s why they present worse during my sleeping hours. I twitch, kick, punch, pinch and scream in my sleep. I have only ever pinched my husband a few times and he knows to bend my thumb back to wake me up and to loosen my grip. Due to the restlessness in my sleep, I have been prescribed nerve blockers and I now sleep better than I have done in the past. 

I have had a few bad attacks whilst in hospital. I normally get sedated and that settles me as fight or flight kicks in and I can be difficult to handle. Some of the memories have stayed with me and I laugh now, along with a healthy dose of being absolutely mortified. Cutting myself out of a hospital night gown with my stoma scissors will always stay with me. 

My coping mechanisms

For those who love me dearly, they know my gallows humour and extreme sarcasm is only in jest and don’t take offence, those who do not know me so well probably think I am one sick cookie. 

Sarcasm has always been seen as the lowest form of wit. I however take comfort in it and I am proud to say, my daughter also has that trait. 

Gallows humour has honestly got me through some really tough times and it has kept me sane. 

I spent a good few years crying my heart out, these days, I tend to tough it out, have a cry on my own as I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. 

Both my illness and metal health have moulded me into the person I am today. 

I am currently on medication to help my low moods caused by a hormonal imbalance, they also quieten down the anxiety some what. 

I am always here should you need to talk either in open or in private. 

As always

Many thanks for reading 

Louise @crohnsfighting Xx

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